James J. Ferris

Mid-Life crisis explored through the hair-loss of New Jersey dry-cleaning magnate Joey Greene (Jay Thomas), who's affair leads to his wife Beth's (Tess Harper) counter-affair with her black chiropractor.

In New York City, detective Luigi Mackeroni investigates a string of mysterious penile mutilations at the Hotel Quickie. After Mackeroni attempts to have a tryst with a gigolo he meets in the lobby, a carniverous condom bites off his right testicle and flees, which sets the detective off on a quest to stop the predatory prophylactic once and for all.

Shareen and Claire, a lesbian couple living on Staten Island, find themselves ensnared in a vast conspiracy involving a ghost ship of nuclear refuse, ominous television commercials, and deadly cat food.