Nicholas Batchelor

Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.

Greed, lust, dirty tricks and bloody fist fights... All those things that make life worth living. When Piper and Rick, the two hottest properties in the Battle of the Bands want to make it, only one thing stands in their way. They're from opposing High Schools. And Malibu High's 6'6" muscle-bound monster Godzilla is going to do everything and anything stop his sweet little sister getting it on with some jerk from the Coldwater Canyon High. When all else fails, only Lovelines answering service can keep them together.